Tis the Season!

It's a tough time when you are unemployed around the holidays.

You feel the world slow down around you and the vortex that pulls you back into family and friends.

Merry making. Isn't that what you are supposed to be doing? Making merry?

Tell me how you feel when your brother in law strolls up to you on Turkey day with a smug smile in his warm sweater and says, "Find a job, yet?"

I know what you feel, but please don't hit him.

And I know what you are thinking. There is NO AMOUNT of eggnog and brandy that will make me feel any better about any of this.

Followed by:

Dear GOD - how can I get through these dinners???

Sit with me for a minute. Come here...........sit.....................

Look at me..............let me tell you the truth about your family and these holiday gatherings.

This is it.
Are you ready?
Here comes the truth.

They are thoughtless and don't know what to say to you.

It is that simple.

They have no idea. They know it's been six months for you out of work, they have heard stories about you through the family and honestly when they look you in the eye, over dinner, they don't know what to say.

So they lead the conversation with, "Find work?"

Forgive them. Have some compassion. Do a bait and switch. Talk about the football game. Talk about their kids or their life. Get the topic off of you.

And while it stings for you, know that this doesn't last forever.

This time will pass.

Next year, you won't be the gossip and focus of the dinner conversation.

Chances are, they will go pick on someone else.

I am thinking of all of you this holiday season, applauding your bravery and holding the vision of you finding the next job.

But for now, let's just get through dinner, shall we?

Candid Interview Feedback

I value truth above all things.

And, over the years as a headhunter, I've been put to the test to tell the hard truth to candidates. It wasn't easy, but it was the right thing to do.

Like why they didn't get the job, for example.

No, I'm talking about the real reason. Not the canned answer, "Your not a good fit".

Seriously, who needs that for feedback? There is nothing to learn from that comment.

But I figured if no one told you, you'd never learn. I didn't do it to hurt, but to correct, so going forward you'd improve and next time land the job.

It's that overwhelming heavy feeling of responsibility that comes over me that makes me do these things.

For the greater good.

For you.

And I never understood why recruiters just don't tell the truth.

It leaves the person in transition feeling lost and incomplete.

Most of all, it makes them start to question their value as a person.

And I can't have that.

So instead I'll tell the truth.

Gently.

And you will leave the conversation in tact and with your dignity.