The Purpose of Deep Pain

With pain there is hope.

Even if it's a glimmer.

A small spark.

There is always something inside of you that whispers...this could change. This may pass...it can't be this way forever.

Can it?

Here's a thought...

DISCLAIMER
NOTE: This is not new age crap talk.

Now, if you're into new age talk, well, you still may like this, but I just wanted to tell all the readers that DON'T like airy fairy happy crap, "think yourself better" people out there that the following blog post isn't that.

So just stay with me and take a deep breath.

Quantum physics tells us that nothing that is observed in unaffected by the observer.


I love science.

Call me a big nerd.

I'm a proof sort data kind of gal.

That statement, from science, not woo woo ugga bugga speak means that EVERYONE sees a different truth.

Because everyone is creating what they see.

Meaning: The place from which you are looking at dictates what you see!

Hate your boss?
Really?
What do you see?

Hate your relationships? Feel you are treated badly?
Maybe so, but what is your point of reference.
What did you create?
How are you accountable for this?

Are you brave enough to tell the truth....to yourself?

Tell the Truth

Looking back now, I'm certain my mother didn't mean for this to happen.

It's just one of those things that sticks in your head, that you believe and ultimately becomes you.

I was a little girl standing before her, lying. She knew it too, the way her left jet black eyebrow raised at me, sternly repeating the question.

I looked her dead in the eye and lied again.

Elizabeth....if you tell me the truth you will not get into trouble. But you must tell the truth. There will be no punishment. None. But I have to know the truth and what I'm dealing with here.

I took a big breath, trusted her and told the truth.

There was no punishment.

I grew up believing that no matter how bad things could be, that if I always told the truth, I would be protected. Over time, my judgement became better, and I choose better, not having to dig myself out of messes and apologize.

If I got a speeding ticket, I told the truth to the judge.
If I was late, I owned my mistake and told the truth.
If I hurt someones feelings, or just knew I was wrong for saying something hurtful, even if they didn't find it hurtful, I told the truth.

It's also called accountability or facing the music.

My next book proposes that we try that small premise in the job search. That we tell the truth about who we really are and be honest.

I suggest we quit flinging our skill set.

Stop selling.
Be honest.
Be honest with the employer about who we are, what we are good at, and furthermore, what we are unwilling to do.

If we did that, we'd have a very different job. We would have set fair expectations with the employer.

No one to lie to anymore.

We could just be us, and utilize our talents.

But we could start out the business relationship with the most critical piece to any relationship.

TRUST!

Please DONT stop!

To all the reporters with the power of the pen:

Please don't stop writing.

Especially when you know your message is important.

When you have that intuitive feeling in your gut that says your piece may reach that one person on a ledge.

We all get caught up in deadlines. So many that we doubt we are even heard or our message matters. Especially when the editor cuts your piece with a big pair of scissors, leaving your ego on the floor to sweep up, quickly forgotten.

Yow know darn well what I'm talking about.

Please don't quit.
Remember who you are and who you were...
It's that essence of you that got you in the biz, long before you needed the paycheck to pay your mortgage.

We need you.

We really do.

Someone out there is listening. Someone out there needs your words.

Butterfly effect. It matters.

Write on!

The Red Sign

Last week in Barnes and Noble I came across a red sign.

It read:

STAY CALM

and

KEEP MOVING


That sign seems to ground me and sum up everything and everyone in my life right now.

I'm considering just pointing to the sign instead of talking.

Focus

She looked at me for a long time after hearing me complain for more than an hour about my life.

Firmly, she stated:

Elizabeth, what you focus on expands. What are you focused on?

What you focus on expands.

Create more of what you want and less of what you don't want.

It is possible. It starts with minding our thoughts.

Mind Your Mind

Someone once told me many years ago:

If you don't run your creative conscious mind, someone else will do it for you!

That's scary.

That means I have to be careful what I create in my thoughts, words and actions.

And, it means that if I don't, someone else will.

Choice is exercised.

Choose the right job.

Choose the right relationships.

Choose to show people how to treat you.

Or you quit running your own show.