Here's a thought....

Most people don't aim too high and miss.

They aim too low and hit.

-Bob Moawad

I guess the same thing could be said of the job hunt, right?

We all want work, but let's be specific in what we really want to do.

And to do that, you'd have to be really honest with oneself.

You'd have to park the fear and quit worring about a paycheck and everyone else.

Hmmm...I think I'm talking to myself, and not you afterall.

:)

What I will tell Cody...

Cody, our son, is about to graduate high school in June.

I can see him start to process the death of his childhood and the uncertainty of adulthood.

His energy feels to me to be one of a person that is unsettled. He knows on some level decisions need to be made, and he is very much afraid.

I know of this without him telling me a word.

And I know of this to be fact for he comes to me in the dream space.

I thought long and hard about what I should tell him.

Isn't this my biggest moment?

As a parent?

Isn't this my biggest moment as Elizabeth Lions?

Who do I really want to be in relation to all of this?

And, the most important question, the one that rocks me to my core -

What would love do now?

I thought a lot about all of this and here is what I will tell him, over and over again, until it registers deep in his beautiful mind and leaves a permament impression.

I will tell him:

Cody,

Listen to the mustn'ts child,
Listen to the don'ts,
Listen to the shouldn'ts,
the impossibles,
Listen to the never haves...

Then you listen close to me.

ANYTHING can happen, child.

Anything can be!

Including you. So go choose and choose again.

They will always tell you that you are too young or too old.

They will always tell you no.

And in recession, they will tell you that it is impossible.

Come here, my son..........listen closely....

Go create.

Choose.

Choose something.

Choose anything. Do not be afraid of your choices, for in the end, it will all be ok.

Work towards being the man that you are, with your beliefs and visions.

Anything can happen, Cody.

And that 'anything' is YOU.

131 West 35th Street, NY, NY

West 35th Street, New York, New York

New Yorkers, and might I say, people on the eastern seaboard, in general, are called rude, rushed and aggressive.

But New Yorkers themselves will tell you they are not rude, rushed or aggressive.
They just have someplace to go.

It is as if they are all running by a magic clock.

Timeliness is a demand, not a virtue.

It was an unusually warm day in December as I walked down the street, admiring decorations, thinking over my appointments and dreaming of my future and what lied ahead.

I could no longer deny that these are my people and they understand me in the east.

The land of the rising sun.

Grief and separation is what drove me away some twenty three years ago, seeking to rebuild my life, but outside of Penn Station all the familiar feelings of the pace and the energy filled me. Intuitively, I knew how to jay walk and how to say “Excuse me, please.” if I was trying to get past someone stopped in the laberinth of people marching like ants to their destination. My footsteps fell with the audible step of progression.

And, there, in the roar of the asphalt jungle, was the goodness of all that surrounded me.

You just have to look closely, but it is there.

A woman, rushing past us, dropping six dollars. The wind carried it across the sidewalk. She didn’t know she had lost it. The invisible clock ticked and she had to meet her deadline of having her body in the right place, in the right building at the right time.

“Mam’! M’am! M’am!” The woman cried loudly despite the crowd of people rushing past us. Quickly she threw herself onto the pavement to retrieve the money for the stranger.
“The money fell out of your pocket!”
“Thank you.” She smiled and took the bills from the woman's hand.

If anything is excellent or praise worthy, think about such things.

Excellent.
Praise worthy.

New Yorkers are such things.

Aisle 9

Christmas Cards in bright red boxes lined the dusty shelves, with a tag that screamed 50% off if you buy today.

This is my favorite time of year and I love reflecting on all the clients and friends that touched my life. Writing each card is a special connection for me. The process of picking out the card, enclosing a short, personal note – all the way to the stamp on the envelope, makes me happy that I lived another year.

I’m typically a sucker for shiny things. Cards with gold or silver foil are typically what I buy.
I was taught in business that my cards cannot read “Merry Christmas”. They must be neutral and wish everyone “Happy Holidays” so not to exclude or offend anyone that receives my cheer note.

While I follow the rules, that does not diminish my joy or my desire to find the brightest, happiest greeting that I can find.

But on the dusty, cluttered shelf, this card was different.

This one made me stop and think.

In red font, with a floating snowflake behind the print it simply read:

Whatever is true,

Whatever is noble,

Whatever is right,

Whatever is pure,

Whatever is lovely,

Whatever is admirable,

If anything is excellent

Or praiseworthy—

Think about such things.

Those words floating on the page made me stop and think of you and I and our lives intertwined. We have all survived another year, during recession. Some of us lost our jobs. Some of us kept our jobs and worked longer, hoping each day to not get the pink slip. We cut back. We took a good, hard look at our finances and lifestyle while the world around us unwound. Healthcare, bank failures, buyouts, bailouts filled our conversations.

Could it get any worse?

Then a card, in a store on aisle nine. Reminding me to find the good. That it is always possible to find some small good in people, places and things around me.

It reminded me to stop being so external and to pull my energy inward in quiet contemplation.
To remember that this will all shift and end and we will all be something different when it is over.

To remember to see the joy, and that just remembering to see it, is a choice.

If anything is excellent, or praiseworthy, think about such things.

Think about such things…….such a small statement that would bring such power to us all if we did that one small step.

Tis the Season!

It's a tough time when you are unemployed around the holidays.

You feel the world slow down around you and the vortex that pulls you back into family and friends.

Merry making. Isn't that what you are supposed to be doing? Making merry?

Tell me how you feel when your brother in law strolls up to you on Turkey day with a smug smile in his warm sweater and says, "Find a job, yet?"

I know what you feel, but please don't hit him.

And I know what you are thinking. There is NO AMOUNT of eggnog and brandy that will make me feel any better about any of this.

Followed by:

Dear GOD - how can I get through these dinners???

Sit with me for a minute. Come here...........sit.....................

Look at me..............let me tell you the truth about your family and these holiday gatherings.

This is it.
Are you ready?
Here comes the truth.

They are thoughtless and don't know what to say to you.

It is that simple.

They have no idea. They know it's been six months for you out of work, they have heard stories about you through the family and honestly when they look you in the eye, over dinner, they don't know what to say.

So they lead the conversation with, "Find work?"

Forgive them. Have some compassion. Do a bait and switch. Talk about the football game. Talk about their kids or their life. Get the topic off of you.

And while it stings for you, know that this doesn't last forever.

This time will pass.

Next year, you won't be the gossip and focus of the dinner conversation.

Chances are, they will go pick on someone else.

I am thinking of all of you this holiday season, applauding your bravery and holding the vision of you finding the next job.

But for now, let's just get through dinner, shall we?

Candid Interview Feedback

I value truth above all things.

And, over the years as a headhunter, I've been put to the test to tell the hard truth to candidates. It wasn't easy, but it was the right thing to do.

Like why they didn't get the job, for example.

No, I'm talking about the real reason. Not the canned answer, "Your not a good fit".

Seriously, who needs that for feedback? There is nothing to learn from that comment.

But I figured if no one told you, you'd never learn. I didn't do it to hurt, but to correct, so going forward you'd improve and next time land the job.

It's that overwhelming heavy feeling of responsibility that comes over me that makes me do these things.

For the greater good.

For you.

And I never understood why recruiters just don't tell the truth.

It leaves the person in transition feeling lost and incomplete.

Most of all, it makes them start to question their value as a person.

And I can't have that.

So instead I'll tell the truth.

Gently.

And you will leave the conversation in tact and with your dignity.

Stress in the Spouse of the Unemployed

I met her at a cocktail party and quickly learned her husband had been laid off. Embarrassed, she broke into tears. She had heard that I was a career coach and wanted to know if I could help her husband. Holding what was a napkin to dab her eyes she exclaimed, "Will he be alright? When will he find work? I don't know how to support him through this. He's been out of work for months."

I think we become so focused on the person who has suffered the job loss that we forget the family as a whole. Spouses, and wives in particular, feel deeply when her mate loses a job. She doesn't know how to 'fix' him and feels abandoned at times while he leaves the room to figure out his future. What is misunderstood is that he needs to do this.

A man has to gather his strength in order to come back to he relationship, and I'd venture to guess that this pattern started in the cave man days. Life was simple. There weren't SUV's and American Express Cards. It was simply the notion to go out, kill and eat it. End of story. The females role was to take care of the cave and the children. Together they formed a valuable team and created their survival.

Life isn't that easy any more. We are all competing to get our needs met and our feelings validated. A job loss can signify the end of a life style. Or, it can mean the beginning of true partnership.

Be gentle with each other.

He will find work. Your lives will go on. This is a small blip on the radar screen that hardly amounts to anything of magnitude, although it feels like that today.

Let him gather his strength. Let him re-create who he is so he can move forward.

Don't ask him when you come home from work if he found a job.

You'll be the first to know.

And when you do that, he feels failure and it starts an endless cycle that is hard to break.

Be kind to one another.

This too shall pass....

An Author's Biggest Fear

I don't know if you know this little tidbit, but after an author finishes a book, they are supposed to do something private and wonderful to celebrate the completion of a creation.

Steven King smokes an expensive cigar. I think I read that years ago. It was something like that.

And it supposed to be a very private moment.

Just you, yourself and a pile of pages that is now a book.

Your creation. Your baby. Your gift to the world.

Think of the words 'book release'. Well, nothing quite sums it up like those words.

Release - to give away to the world, to let go.

And risk being told that what you actually did was write a bunch of useless crap.

Only the very brave put their most intimate thoughts in words on paper for the world to see.

I rarely think what I write is great. Others tell me it is, but I always doubt it on some level.

They tell me all artists are critical of their work.

Maybe so.

After I finished Recession Proof Yourself! I realized that I had no ritual.

I don't drink.

I don't smoke.

This made me panic a bit, because I knew the book wouldn't be complete without some sort of ceremony to celebrate it's birthing process.

My husband was away so privacy wasn't an issue. I decided to take on a small art project as a ceremony and make a small collage about the book.

This was no easy task, let me tell you.

I am NOT artistic at all.

No, seriously, I'm not.

I can't even draw a stick figure. People confuse my stick figures for Chinese symbols because they don't look like people at all.

Standing at Michael's craft shop I felt like a total impostor. Surely, they would all know that I had no business being here since I was buying stickers and poster board.

I spent hours with glue, tacks and chicken wire to put it together, but when it was done, it was beautiful.

On gold paper, were quotes to remind me of the importance of what I was doing and how this was about others.

And it was to remind me to release it - let it go and let it fall where it may. Some will like it. Others will not.

One quote read: First say to yourself what would you be; and then do what you have to do.

Another read: The greatest use of a LIFE is to spend it on something that outlasts it.

That one always make me tear up because my own mortality hits home.

I had no children. No part of me to pass on.

I have no tribe.

I'm the cheese that stands alone.

Cancer reminds you that you don't get to live forever, and if I only had one last breath, this is what I would be honestly doing with my life - helping those in transition.

And I never get to quite forget my bout with cancer, because every six months I get another skin screen from the Good Doctor, who smiles every time he sees me.

We're pals.

We've been through a lot.

Me, him and his scalpel.

I silently pray that he is really looking at me when he does his examination.
I hope he never mistakes a freckle for a spot that grew and slowly rotted out my insides only to hear, "Sorry, Elizabeth. We didn't catch it. Your stage four."

But they can never take my words away, written on the pages.

I will have left something behind, much bigger than me.

I will have lived a life that mattered.

To someone.

To that someone who bought the book.

There was no cigar smoke that day, nor a thimble full of good scotch to toast.

Instead, a sign hangs in my bedroom, reminding me each morning to get the book out there, and do what I have to do.

A Shout Out to the Unemployed

The map hung across the room looking at me, without blinking.

I stared at it and whispered, 'Where are you?'

California is colored orange.
Michigan is colored pink.
Nevada is colored yellow.

All 50 states stood stony eyed, looking at me.

Waiting.

There are fourteen and a half million people in the US that are unemployed right now, according to the Bureau of Labor and Statistics.

This keeps me up at night.

I will find you.

Until there is no breath in my body, I will look for you.

Because I believe I can help.

It's not ego or vanity. I've just done this too many times. I've worked with hundreds of laid off workers, most of them professionals who needed a hand to get them from Point A to Point B.

What do I do?

I perform triage on the spirit when someone gets laid off. I'm there for you to emotionally throw up all over me. When you are done and feel better, we'll commence in the job search.

Don't get me wrong, I like it.

If you are there and listening, I need to let you know:

You have a right to be frustrated.
You have a right to be scared.
You have a right to feel despair, just don't pitch a tent there.

I will find you.

I am here.

My name is Elizabeth Lions.

I can help.

Laid off after 17 years of service

I've always been very grateful for all the wonderful people that I've met due to my line of work as a career coach. Much of what others have shared with me has been humbling.

To be trusted as such a deep level.

To have the privilege of listening to another.

To witness their power and their growth, knowing they don't share this stuff with anyone else.

Keeping their secrets.

Holding the space until they grow and move into the next job. Knowing they can do it when they are sure they cannot.

Some days it brings me to my knees and I'm overwhelmed by the human spirit.

But there is always that one client that sticks out in your mind.

I met him at a networking event where I was the key note speaker. He took a job as an intern, as a mechanical engineer. They offered him a full time job - and he took it.

And he held that one job for seventeen years.

Think about that.

I've known marriages that didn't last that long.

For 17 years he drove to the same building - every day.
He worked side by the side with the same people - every day.
And one day he came into work and they just laid him off.

I'll never forget how unflappable he was even though he was out of a job.

This man had no idea how to interview.

He didn't even know how to apply online. Why would he? He had never had to look for a job.

He vacillated between being extremely excited about his new options and overwhelmed.

I vowed to keep track of him long after our sessions exhausted just to ensure he had a safe landing.

Ok, let's face it - I just wanted the happy ending.

We spent the next six weeks getting his resume and cover letter ready and preparing him for his upcoming interviews. He hadn't interviewed since college and now at 40, he was a bit concerned about how he would do it. I encouraged him to network as much as possible to uncover possible job leads. He followed the system I outlined in a detailed manner. He was committed to my service outline and moving forward.

After nearly 4 months without work and few interviews, he emailed. I intuitively picked up his discouragement though the airwaves.

"Measure success differently." I told him. "Success doesn't mean getting the job. Sometimes it just means applying to several opportunities. Sometimes it's following up. Sometimes when it's really bad, success is just getting out of bed. Being discouraged and depressed is ok. Just don't pitch a tent there."

I do understand that it's tough out there. But do not forget who you really are and what you came here to do.

Never lose sight of that.

Applying to Jobs Online - No Response

When you are unemployed, life feels like:

Get online.
Look for jobs.
Apply into electronic cyberspace.
Repeat.
Hope this all ends soon.

It's very frustrating. And confusing. Why don't you hear back?

Well, you may not like this response, but it's the truth. This isn't about you, necessarily.

Think about it from the employer's perspective.

For example, a client of mine posted an ad for a Plant Manufacturing Engineer. She's in HR and got 600 resumes.

Yes, that's what I said.

600.

I asked her what she did. She said she hired an intern to go through all 600 and put them into piles to help her organize the candidates. Frankly, I thought it was really impressive that she did this since she sincerely didn't want to miss out on a good hire.

In two weeks she was down to 60 resumes.

Keep in mind there is one job, located in Oregon.

So, she won't even get to interviews for another two weeks.

Perhaps you applied yesterday.

Get it?

It's not fun at all, but hang in there. It's all a part of the process.

Do NOT give up!